Love is…

September 21, 2008 at 3:30 am Leave a comment

The events of the last few months have caused me to question this thing called love. Like most, I have grown to use the term loosely, applying it liberally to a range of emotions and situations.

I regularly state that I love objects and actions… I tell my close friends that I love them… I love my children, my siblings, my parents… and I have loved a few men along the way.

For the most part, I have no problem in using or defining these loves.It’s the romantic sort (ie men) that gets me in a bind.And I’ve been questioning lately whether, by throwing around the word love so freely, I’ve confused and committed my heart long before I should have?

At a scientific level, love is but a mere chemical reaction; an insurance mechanism to ensure the continued existence of the species. Less cold, but only slightly, some psychologists think love is fostered when both parties:

  • Are ready and open for a relationship of that magnitude;
  • Have some items of shared interest; and
  • Have mutual sexual attraction.

Readiness. Opportunity. Lust. My logical self agrees whole heartedly with this. But my emotional, some-what irrational self that takes refuge in the romanticism of ‘love’ would like to believe that my feelings of love are nurtured through other means.

Chemical, logical, or emotional, I know not. Ultimately, for me, “love” comes with seeing his faults, his traits I dislike, the imperfections and immaturities, and realising the list of joys above outweighs it.

It comes with a change in sexual attraction; the shift in my desire from physical pleasure to long sensual touch giving justice to the strong yearning to have his body touching mine as much and as deeply as possible;. to have his lips on mine at the point of climax (if only to stop me from speaking the unspoken truth).

And when his head on my shoulder, my fingers running through his hair, and I am filled with a realization of just how comfortable I am and how reluctant I am to let go, to unfurl.


Entry filed under: Theories. Tags: , , .

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