November 30, 2008 at 1:17 pm Leave a comment

In a few weeks I will be returning ‘home’ and as I stand on the cusp, I am presented with my own confusion as to how I feel about that.

There are numerous things I have enjoyed about my time in Melbourne, even despite the emotional upheaval of my personal relationships and workplace relationships.  For instance, there are quaint little stores that I have found or little shopping precincts that I quite enjoy browsing through and that are unique to what I find at ‘home’.  I like the European influenced gardens and architecture;  the fact that I can wear scarves;  the clickety clack as the cars drive over tram tracks;  abundance of graffiti art with a message;  tree-lined streets where the leaves change to shades of brown in Autumn;  cobblestone and bricks from the turn of the century;  and community farms scattered throughout the inner-city.

I like that I can wander the streets and find numerous vegetarian meal options and fair trade coffees.   I enjoyed seeing a class of primary children cross the street and only two of them were blonde haired and blue eyed.  I admire the number of cyclists about town and afar.

But most of all, I have enjoyed my solitude.  Down here I have been able to cocoon myself, choosing when and where and how I engage with my existing friends and family.  That peace and freedom has created space for reflection, on all aspects of my life and my future.

And it is this space that is drawing me home.  In addition to the brighter, sunnier weather;  the view of the mountains on the range;  wooden architecture with its intricate details in the paneling;  and the wide, winding river through the heart of the city;  I do miss my family and friends dearly.

But I am cautious;  acutely aware of the snowballing that could happen upon my return.  I don’t know if I am quite ready to emerge from my cocoon.  Perhaps returning home will help me thread it a little tighter while I build my resilience.

I suspect it will be unravelled and snowballed.   Leaving me to crave a life far away…


Entry filed under: Musings. Tags: , , .

Downward day Scar Tissue

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